FAQ


How can I buy products featuring your artwork?

Most of my works can be purchased through my Redbubble.com storefront. You can select a wide variety of products to have the artwork printed on - from t-shirts, sweatshirts, and hoodies to pillows, tote bags, stickers, and greeting cards. All orders are handled, processed, and shipped directly through Redbubble.com.

Where do you get all of your wacky-ass ideas?

A genetic predisposition for wittiness combined with a warped sense of humor is the best explanation. But come on, you don't really care about that do you? Pick another question.

Are your project graphics and/or photo originals available for sale on their own?

No, at this time my source files are not available for purchase. Pretty conceited of me to assume you wanted to buy any of them in the first place, huh?

What does the "A" in "f##kin' A" stand for?

Academic scholars worldwide are still engaged in fierce debate over this conundrum. The meaning of this popular phrase ultimately depends on the tone of voice used during the utterance, and of course the context. For example, if you make some purchases after perusing the artwork shown on my website, I'd react with "f##kin' A" (emphasis on the "A") as a happy expression of my excitement and satisfaction. But if you decide that my creative offerings to the world are in poor taste, then I'd respond with "f##kin' A" (emphasis on "f##kin'") and this sad remark would carry more disappointing undertones.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Neither one! I humbly submit that the rooster came first, in good keeping with the male of pretty much all species on earth (including Bigfoot). But I really don't want to talk about that.

Why isn't chartreuse [ shart-truce ] a brown color?

Good question, it certainly should be. What's with this yellow-green shenanigan? If anyone can blast out an explanation for this, please contact me here.

Does excessive self-pleasuring lead to blindness?

If you are reading this, apparently not.

I need some great new music to listen to, any suggestions?

Yes! The Birthday Massacre all the way. They're friggin' awesome and way under-rated and overlooked. Mainstream radio these days sucks. Check this band out and you'll never go back. It's rare to find a musical group where you can't pick a favorite album they've made because they're all just so damn good. Well, this is one of those bands. They have such a unique sound and can't be accurately compared to anybody else. Don't let their name fool or dissuade you either. If you think the 80's were the bomb for music, and you want to relive those days again with some crunchy guitar (by Rainbow), intoxicating riffs (by Falcore), tranquilizing techno-keyboard (by Owen) and beautiful female vocals (by Sarah Taylor a.k.a. Chibi), then check them out!! Canada produces a lot more than just beer and ginger ale folks, these guys are the real deal!

Runners Up: Delain*, Within Temptation**, and Nightwish***

Honorable Mention: Beyond The Black**** and Chvrches

* Delain is an awesome symphonic metal Dutch band. Sadly, the group disbanded in February 2021, which was a real shocker especially considering the rave reviews for their last release, 2020's "Apocalypse and Chill," where the band really appeared to be at the top of their "A-game." Fortunately, their beautiful and fantastically talented lead singer Charlotte Wessels has not been stymied and has already gone on to produce some wonderful solo material since then, which is simply amazing. Her June 2021 "live" performance in the photography studio of Tim Tronckoe even reunites with one of the other original Delain members, Timo Somers, to provide the accompanying guitar support. Although I may be curious, I can't see myself listening to any new Delain material yet to come, which other than keyboardist Martijn Westerholt will feature all new musicians. Delain just won't be the same anymore without Charlotte and Timo. Wessel's voice is so distinctive and unique that it really shaped Delain's identity.
** Within Temptation is an incredible symphonic metal / gothic metal Dutch band with enormous range and versatility. Sharon den Adel is no doubt one of the best female vocalists I have ever heard, and the emotion in her voice present in so many of her songs really gives me goosebumps and shivers. It's also no coincidence that guitarist and co-founder (with den Adel) Robert Westerholt is the brother of Martijn Westerholt from Delain. The talent obviously runs in the family! Within Temptation's 2011 release "The Unforgiving" is a remarkable achievement, and there is also a wealth of excellent and memorable tracks on 2014's "Hydra" including a kick-ass duet with Tarja Turunen and a cover for Lana del Rey's "Summertime Sadness." The 2019 song "Mad World" from the album "Resist" is so appropriate to what we've been going through since Covid, and it is a perfect fit for the conditions we're currently living in. In 2020, they released "The Purge" which has really grown on me as a great song that I can't get enough of! Being from the Netherlands, Within Temptation primarily tours in Europe and therefore I have not seen perform "live" yet. But that didn't stop Nightwish (from Finland) and Delain (also from the Netherlands) from coming to Tucson, AZ to play at the Rialto Theater in 2016, so perhaps there is still the chance of a future US tour. From the videos I've seen of Within Temptation's performances, they really go the extra mile on stage props, lighting, and imagery/background videos to collectively provide what looks like a very professional and visually stimulating entertainment experience.
*** Nightwish is another fantastic European symphonic metal band (from Finland) who have been around for a long time but are not well known in the USA. I first discovered them from their song "Nemo" which was played during the end credits of the sci-fi monster movie called "The Cave." Just luck I guess. I do believe they produced their best recordings with Tarja Turunen, their original lead vocalist. They were still good after her departure, but just different and never quite the same since she got replaced by Annette Olzon and again more recently by Floor Jansen. I must emphasize though that "Dark Passion Play" and especially "Endless Forms Most Beautiful" are both outstanding releases on their own even without Tarja as the frontrunner. "Endless Forms" is really a work of art and I appreciate it more and more that I listen to the whole album start to finish. In more recent band news, it was disappointing to learn that bassist and vocalist Marco Heitala decided to retire and break from Nightwish in January 2021. To be honest I'm not sure what's up with Nightwish's latest release "Human Nature", I really did not dig that one too much. But if I throw that recording out as an "outlier" then everything else this band has created is pretty dope.
**** Beyond the Black is yet another excellent symphonic metal band from Europe (do you see a pattern here?). They are from Germany, but their lyrics are in English. Vocalist Jennifer Haben is drop dead gorgeous and has a beautiful voice that sounds great both with soft singing and also with more force and energy behind it. The songs "Heart of the Hurricane" and "Million Lightyears" grabbed my attention right away and I've been drawn to them ever since. Unless they make it big in the USA, I will probably have to go to Germany again when they are on tour if I want to see them perform at a "live" show.